When a mental illness struck me a few years ago, I asked, ‘Why me?’ ‘What wrong did I commit?’ It was not a whole year before I accepted the illness as part of me.
Many other mental residuals followed, such as low mood, extreme irritability, anger issues, and the like.
I was taken aback thinking, ‘What is happening to me, and why?’
During these phases, I would look back upon my older ‘normal’ self and reminisce. I would miss those days and curse the existence for my present condition.
Fast forward some tough years in my life to a year ago. I had Covid and other physical illnesses last year. One illness would end and the other followed.
It is only in the recent couple of months that I am enjoying the healthy phase in my life. It led me to ponder.
What if existence took all these past illnesses and their accompanied experiences away from my life?
I thought to myself, ‘Life would have been pretty dull then’.
Every illness brings with it a new color of experience. Sometimes you don’t like the colors that life presents to you but nonetheless, these colors make your life richer and full.
You only understand and appreciate the colors in hindsight.
All these myriad experiences, good or bad, have made for a colorful palette of my life.
This is all I ever wanted, really – new experiences in my life. Earlier, I resisted the colors I didn’t like but now I will lovingly accept all the colors in my stride.
Now, I can die rest assured that I have experienced so many things: feelings, emotions, and mental states in my lifetime. All these contrasting things make my life complete.
